Shadow Of Victory

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Tuesday 19th January F is for Forgotten

F is for Forgotten.....In this season of fasting and praying I have forgotten how it feels to set aside time to draw near...I have forgotten the joy of praying with Godly women ...I have forgotten the sense of encouragement when Gods word is spoken ...I have forgotten the sense of expectation when gathered together with the wider community....I have forgotten what Gods voice sounds like.....I have forgotten just how much I need His presence.....I have forgotten the touch of His Holy Spirit....I have forgotten the need for the prophetic.....

So much is forgotten in the ordinary living of our daily lives. I am amazed that in just 2 days of fasting and praying I have drawn closer to God ...its as if a mist has been cleared away ..or the scales from my eyes...As I have shed the activities such as reading and watching I have purposely and intentionally set aside time and invited women to come alongside me each I have gathered with the wider community each evening...its as if I have been ushered into Gods presence.

Today ..I had the honour of praying with two lovely and Godly women ...women who have known me for decades and who were willing to give up an hour of their time to stand with me on behalf of Cat and Nick....and guess what..God showed up..."where two or three are gathered in my name ..there will I be also " We shared scriptures and knocked on heavens door and after they left I sat for some minutes just soaking in the knowledge that God is God.

This evening at the church prayer time the worship just drew me in as if I was on my own...some of the words of the different songs took on a new and deeper meaning.

By your mercy we draw near.
The same power that conquered the grave lives in me...The same power that rescued the earth lives in me.
How great is our God..sing with me.

All very familiar words but tonight their truth resonated with me in a personal and significant way. I love to worship and we prayed that we would be men and women who worshipped...Chris and I prayed for each other that God would open up new and deeper ways to worship...that we would be released to give God honour through the way we live and through the way we worship.

Ken B led us into a time asking God to speak to us prophetically..."in the ordinary everyday of our lives" and as we spent time praying this through I knew God was speaking to me...I will keep praying into this and blog later in the week when I have the whole picture.It is interesting for me to remember that it was a prayer and fasting time almost two years ago when AW prophesied to the meeting that it was time to "position ourselves strategically so that God could use us for such a time as this " On the back of that "word" I gave up serving in the stewarding team to concentrate on car parking and we all know where that led to.!!

Over the last couple of days as I have set aside time to hear and experience more of God I have "heard " two words....Silence and Mother. These are separate words not a phrase and I am seeking God for clarity as to what He is saying.One thing that happened this evening at the prayer time was a period of silence...not overly long where everyone gets uncomfortable or feels they have to fill it or move on..just a holy moment and it was as if Jesus was whispering to me.

"There you are "

It was as if he was seated next to me and had just leaned over to whisper in my ear..."There you are " Sometimes my life is so "noisy" and by that I mean it can feel as if I have lost His presence and so this evening as all the external "noise" disappeared then his presence and His voice could be felt and heard.

I still desperately want to read my novel..its typical in that I started a great novel last Friday and several times during today when I would normally have sat for half hour or so and had a good read but I know that as I "cleanse " my mind and spirit this week that I will have opened myself up to the infilling of Gods Holy Spirit.The same with telly..each night after the prayer meeting I would usually have watched an hour or so of telly...but instead of that I am blogging instead! As for food....I have had a low grade headache for this last 24 hours and have felt achy ..tired and shivery ..and this afternoon I had a lay down on the sofa and napped for half an hour. Fasting isn't easy...Praying isn't easy...leaving books and telly behind aren't easy either but I am rewarded with the presence of my Maker..and that has to be worth the sacrifice .

I am looking forward to the rest of the week..praying again for Cat and Nick and being a part of the wider community each evening.What a privilege !!

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