Two years ago this month Chris and I were able to pay off our IVA early through the amazing gift of 10,000 being made available to us. After decades of struggling with debt and 39months in the IVA we were girding our loins for the last 2 years and praying it would go quickly. What worried us more than anything was the Redundancy that had been hanging over Chris head for months. We knew if this happened that our IVA would fail and we would have to go bankrupt and we were pretty sure we would lose our home too so it wasn't a great year for us.
When we knew we could pay off the debts early and not have to repay the gift we couldn't believe that God would bless us in this way....we spent most of December 2009 in a daze and until we got the actual certificate of completion in late January we kept thinking something would go wrong. So....for almost 2 years we have been debt free...!! All we have at the moment is 5 more years on our mortgage and when that's done and dusted we will owe no money anywhere.....
In last 2 years we have seen amazing blessing in every aspect of our lives....Yes.. Chris did get made redundant and even after 32 years with the same firm he didn't get a great package...this was because the jolly company went into administration so instead of a lovely big lump sum he was allocated the government maximum of 10,000...and now almost 20 months later we still havent had all of it as the CEO is a pain in the bum ...to put it politely...we have spent almost 1,500 in solicitors fees trying to get it but so far we have only had 6,000....in fact....we have kinda given up on the remaining few quid as the effort and emotional toll isn't worth it...if it ever appears we will be thanking God as it will surely be a major miracle if it does come our way,.LOL
Chris has taken early retirement and is now enjoying a good pension..(so at least his 32 years with the company did some good ) and is working as IT manager for the church 2 days a week. I am continuing to be Matt's PA and after 7 years I still cant believe I get paid for such a great job...Matt is so much a part of our lives and family that it seems weird to get paid. I also childmind a wee boy 2 days per week and have Elisha 3 days a week so Chris and get to share our days with such great kids and get paid for it....God is good.
As we have been able to over last 2 years we have shared our blessing with our family and friends in several different ways as we have been able and been prompted but more than that I have to say that being debt free is also a state of mind. For so long we always felt slightly guilty and ashamed that we hadn't been able to manage our money better and here we are years later with the ability to have money and not spend it!! This is fun...honest...to walk around a shop and come out with nothing is almost as much fun as a spending spree. To send a cheque to our son for no reason other than to bless him and his partner ranks fairly high on the joy scale....to buy Elisha a toy...or help Cat and Nick to decorate a room....to let our live in son off with rent for a month as he is off on hols...all these things are not just monetary blessings...but way more than that...it gives us joy.
Recently I experienced God speaking to me about these words from Romans Ch 13 verse 8
"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another ...for he who loves his fellow man has fulfilled the law."
I have been very aware this last few months of the "call" to love one another and at times have been stretched in my capacity to keep on loving people at times. I have also been looking at ways I can love people more than the norm...As this year draws to a close I have resolved to ensure I have no debt outstanding...not in the financial realm but in my relationships with others....I have been thinking through the petty disagreements I have had with Chris...and asking God to help me rise above it all and not carry any grudges over into 2012....I have been looking at friendships and working my way through any wrong and selfish thoughts I may have had and asking God to take charge and help me to love others....I am determined that as I celebrate the birth of Jesus and spend time with my family and friends that no debts will remain outstanding in our love for one another...Keeping "short accounts"is going to be my prayer for 2012 and ensuring I have asked for forgiveness if I know I have been hurtful in any way.
I know that some who may read this may have financial debts...may have emotional debts...may have stresses that I may have no understanding off... Being a Christian doesnt mean we dont have major trauma in our lives.... in recent months my closest friend has had a diagnosis of terminal cancer....and I heard this week that a precious young couple lost their first born child.....all these things are difficult to cope with and my prayer for us all is that 2012 will begin with an outpouring of Gods love into your life and that you know His perfect love in every sense. May you know the peace of God that passes all understanding .
For a look at a couple of others experiences have a read of a couple of friends blogs...listed on my page....Home Made Sal and her entry entitled...Extravangance and Ruthies Blog....The Reality of Debt...Two excellent viewpoints...
Shadow Of Victory
Saturday 17 December 2011
Wednesday 14 December 2011
PEACE......
On Wednesdays I meet with a wee group of friends...we originally began over a year ago studying the Morph bible study....we so enjoyed and benefited from the study..but more than that we enjoyed and benefited from the friendship.. We are all different ages and all different life situations with 15 children between us..(I think ).Its been special to share myself with friends who care about me and I hope I have shown my love and concern for them too.
This year we have decided to read and study a book by Steven Furtick called ...Sun Stand Still...and its been quite different from the more structured study that we did with Morph but has nonetheless challenged us in our faith and our walk with God. Today we met for last time before Christmas and had lunch and chatted about what we were doing over the Festive season. Sandra gave us all a present and this is what prompted me to write this blog entry. It was a very simple gift of a candle . Each if us had a different word written on the candle and my word was ...PEACE.... Sandra had wrapped each the gifts in shiny red paper and tied a red ribbon round that was all curly and pretty and then attached a home made tag with my name written in gold letters. On the bottom Sandra attached a verse of scripture from Isaiah Ch 9 v 6
FOR UNTO US A CHILD IS BORN AND TO US A SON IS GIVEN....AND THE GOVERNMENT WILL BE ON HIS SHOULDER AND HE WILL BE CALLED WONDERFUL COUNSELLOR...MIGHTY GOD..EVERLASTING FATHER ..PRINCE OF PEACE.
A simple gift but chosen and wrapped with Sandra's flare for creativity somehow or other did something in my spirit. When I got home Chris and I ...with the help of Matt and Elisha put up our tree and all the decorations and played Christmas songs and generally had a great time...we then put out the lights and lit the candles and just soaked in the atmosphere of Christmas. I lit Sandra's candle and I had already popped the scripture card beside it and I just felt this amazing warmth surround me as we gazed at our tree and and sat together.
Those of you who know me will perhaps remember that my name actually means PEACE and that I have always been a "peacemaker " Between my children and family and friends I have always sought to bring peace and harmony and I so dislike any tension or conflict so seek at all times to ensure that we all care for and love one another as best as we are able . This last three months I have been involved with several areas of conflict that have caused me some pain and anxiety and I have been praying and asking God to bring me to a place of PEACE....this afternoon I felt God answer that prayer in a very real way...The candle...the gift....the tree...the carols...Elisha and Matt and Chris...all just merged together for a short span of time in the candlelight and God touched my heart with His PEACE....I am grateful beyond words for this gift...Sandra may not have realised as she chose the gift...or wrapped it...or wrote out the words of scripture ..or attached the tag..that it was just what I needed and that it was so much more than "just a Christmas present"...God gives us so much more than "just a Christmas present " There are times when He steps in and makes His presence known in a very tangible way .
My hope and prayer for anyone who reads this is that you will also experience the PEACE of God this Christmas time for yourself...your circumstances...your family..and your friends .
Monday 12 December 2011
In Honour of Mr Ben Davies
Yesterday I sat through the 7pm meeting at church mesmerised by Ben Davies as he preached through the Christmas Carol..Hark the Herald Angels Sing. Those of us who know Ben will remember this is his all time favourite Carol but as far as I can think back its the first actual "preach" he has made on it. It truly was amazing and if you didn't get to one of the three meetings yesterday then aim for the website and listen on the podcast.
I have been a part of this church for 27 years and Ben led it for decades before handing over the helm to our very own Simon and Catrina Benham and it was through Ben's teaching that both Chris and I became Christians all those years ago. We are so privileged in the church to have Simon and the other leaders who preach to us week in and week out but I confess to still hankering after Ben's preaching. There is something about his character that oozes his passion for Christ....his desire for all of us to know Jesus as our own personal saviour and to be right with God that still stirs me and shakes me to the core every time I listen to him.
With regards to this particular preach on this Carol....I loved Ben's explanations of each of the verses...the history of the actual writing of the Carol... (I didn't know that Wesley had written over 8,000 Hymns )...I waited almost breathlessly to see how he would bring in the Gospel message and he didn't disappoint.!!..The line "God and sinners reconciled " prompted the good news that through Christ... God has reconciled each of us to Him.!! I urge each of you reading this to listen to the podcast as it will also bring the Christmas message alive again .
Ben's style of preaching is sometimes referred to as "hell and fire and damnation"..(not by me...) but in reality it is TRUTH that he speaks and brings the reality of the Gospel straight into our spirits. No pussy footing around for Ben...he doesn't dress it up in pretty words ...he plainly refers to sin and salvation and repentance and reconciliation with no apology.!!.. There have been times over the decades when even though I have taken the steps and become a Christian that I almost want to do it all again as I listen to him speak!!
Ben has charisma....of that there is no doubt...but that seems almost an empty description....you have to see...or hear him to fully understand what I mean. He is physically a small man...I seem to think I may even be taller than him but as he speaks he seems to grow taller....as he walks from side to side...as he moves his head and his arms and makes point after point stand out it can be strangely fearsome. I don't mean that in a scary way and he certainly doesn't frighten people into the Kingdom...it is more that he is standing on the side of righteousness and is ensuring the powers of darkness that God has won the battle.
Ben often refers to himself as he speaks and is honest about his failings and his sin and this in itself helps me to move towards God as I can easily then admit that I too am a bit of mess at times. Over the years Ben has helped us in so many ways...I am not a personal friend of his but through his preaching and teaching both Chris and I have weathered some tough times. Ben's teaching about money has enabled us to finally break the hopelessness of personal debt...his teaching about being a family and parenting has definitely helped us in this respect....his teaching on personal sin and repentance has shown us areas in our lives where we need to get right ..not just with God but with others too.
Finally I write this entry simply to honour Ben.....he isn't perfect...he isn't sinless..I havent placed him on a pedestal and I certainly don't worship him....I simply want to honour a "man of God" . Looking back over my life there have been many people who have influenced me......some of them not great but I can say with absolute certainty that the influence Ben has had on my life has all been for the good. Ben pointed me to God...who through Jesus forgave my sin...showered me with mercy and grace and put my life back together again when at times it seemed as if it was broken forever. I am grateful beyond words for all that Ben has shared with us over the years and even at 72 is still sharing with us...if he was Scottish( argh I hear you cry...as he is as Welsh as they come )..I would say to him.." lang may yer lum reek "
I have been a part of this church for 27 years and Ben led it for decades before handing over the helm to our very own Simon and Catrina Benham and it was through Ben's teaching that both Chris and I became Christians all those years ago. We are so privileged in the church to have Simon and the other leaders who preach to us week in and week out but I confess to still hankering after Ben's preaching. There is something about his character that oozes his passion for Christ....his desire for all of us to know Jesus as our own personal saviour and to be right with God that still stirs me and shakes me to the core every time I listen to him.
With regards to this particular preach on this Carol....I loved Ben's explanations of each of the verses...the history of the actual writing of the Carol... (I didn't know that Wesley had written over 8,000 Hymns )...I waited almost breathlessly to see how he would bring in the Gospel message and he didn't disappoint.!!..The line "God and sinners reconciled " prompted the good news that through Christ... God has reconciled each of us to Him.!! I urge each of you reading this to listen to the podcast as it will also bring the Christmas message alive again .
Ben's style of preaching is sometimes referred to as "hell and fire and damnation"..(not by me...) but in reality it is TRUTH that he speaks and brings the reality of the Gospel straight into our spirits. No pussy footing around for Ben...he doesn't dress it up in pretty words ...he plainly refers to sin and salvation and repentance and reconciliation with no apology.!!.. There have been times over the decades when even though I have taken the steps and become a Christian that I almost want to do it all again as I listen to him speak!!
Ben has charisma....of that there is no doubt...but that seems almost an empty description....you have to see...or hear him to fully understand what I mean. He is physically a small man...I seem to think I may even be taller than him but as he speaks he seems to grow taller....as he walks from side to side...as he moves his head and his arms and makes point after point stand out it can be strangely fearsome. I don't mean that in a scary way and he certainly doesn't frighten people into the Kingdom...it is more that he is standing on the side of righteousness and is ensuring the powers of darkness that God has won the battle.
Ben often refers to himself as he speaks and is honest about his failings and his sin and this in itself helps me to move towards God as I can easily then admit that I too am a bit of mess at times. Over the years Ben has helped us in so many ways...I am not a personal friend of his but through his preaching and teaching both Chris and I have weathered some tough times. Ben's teaching about money has enabled us to finally break the hopelessness of personal debt...his teaching about being a family and parenting has definitely helped us in this respect....his teaching on personal sin and repentance has shown us areas in our lives where we need to get right ..not just with God but with others too.
Finally I write this entry simply to honour Ben.....he isn't perfect...he isn't sinless..I havent placed him on a pedestal and I certainly don't worship him....I simply want to honour a "man of God" . Looking back over my life there have been many people who have influenced me......some of them not great but I can say with absolute certainty that the influence Ben has had on my life has all been for the good. Ben pointed me to God...who through Jesus forgave my sin...showered me with mercy and grace and put my life back together again when at times it seemed as if it was broken forever. I am grateful beyond words for all that Ben has shared with us over the years and even at 72 is still sharing with us...if he was Scottish( argh I hear you cry...as he is as Welsh as they come )..I would say to him.." lang may yer lum reek "
Thursday 8 December 2011
My Grandads a Hero....
Today I have a guest Blogger....for the first time ever and in his debut entry.....Elisha Kent is blogging !!!
Thanks Granny.....I wanted to take the time to tell everyone about my Grandad....lots of people know him as Chris....or Mr Mooney....or your husband....or my mummy's daddy....it all gets very confusing but to me its very simple and easy....
He is MY Grandad....Grandad Mooney....he took over this title on the day I was born ...his daddy was always Grandad Mooney but of course he is now Great Grandad Mooney..so may different ways to describe all this but to me its very simple...
He is My Grandad....Grandad Mooney.... and he is my hero....I know lots of kids have fabby Grandparents but I think my Grandad is amazing ..let me tell you why.
He is really funny...he can make his eyebrows go weird...sort of up and down and wiggly waggly all over the place....
He lets me play with the hairy bits round his nipple.....
He lifts me way up high to the sky.....
He makes the fan turn round so I can touch it....
He lights the candles and helps me to blow it making silly noises....
He claps his hands like a nutter when I do something ordinary like smiling..
He never gets cross with me even when Granny has had enough...
He doesn't shout loud or groan when I am naughty....
He gives me my dummy whenever I want it.....
He offers me choices of food and lets me point at what I want....
He sits me on his knee and talks words that I have no idea what they mean....
He babysits for me whenever he is asked.....
He looks after me overnight ......
He gets up to me in the morning when Granny is still asleep...
He makes a mean Ready Brek and toast....
He splashes me in the bath and blows bubbles.....
He puts me on my new trike and walks all the way up to Sainsbury and back....
He tickles me under the arms and makes me giggle...
He makes a roast dinner and lets me chew on his Yorkshires and throw peas on the floor....
He loves my Granny.....
He sings to me when no-one is around....
He loves Jesus....
He sometimes does a burpy noise out of his mouth and his bottom too....
He gets to be with me a lot cos he doesn't work very much....
He is forever sneaking up on me and saying..peek boo....
He loves my mummy a lot...
He changes the stinkiest of nappies and isn't sick....
He is endlessly patient with me when I am grouchy....
He says he is besotted with me but I don't really know what that means unless it is all of the above....
He has the best laugh ever and tells jokes that are just plain awful....
He takes my picture all the time...
He crawls around the soft play places and takes me out all by himself....
He loves me very much....
He thanks God for me all the time....
He never gets tired of playing with me.....
My Grandad is a hero...I love my Grandad.....
Thanks Granny.....I wanted to take the time to tell everyone about my Grandad....lots of people know him as Chris....or Mr Mooney....or your husband....or my mummy's daddy....it all gets very confusing but to me its very simple and easy....
He is MY Grandad....Grandad Mooney....he took over this title on the day I was born ...his daddy was always Grandad Mooney but of course he is now Great Grandad Mooney..so may different ways to describe all this but to me its very simple...
He is My Grandad....Grandad Mooney.... and he is my hero....I know lots of kids have fabby Grandparents but I think my Grandad is amazing ..let me tell you why.
He is really funny...he can make his eyebrows go weird...sort of up and down and wiggly waggly all over the place....
He lets me play with the hairy bits round his nipple.....
He lifts me way up high to the sky.....
He makes the fan turn round so I can touch it....
He lights the candles and helps me to blow it making silly noises....
He claps his hands like a nutter when I do something ordinary like smiling..
He never gets cross with me even when Granny has had enough...
He doesn't shout loud or groan when I am naughty....
He gives me my dummy whenever I want it.....
He offers me choices of food and lets me point at what I want....
He sits me on his knee and talks words that I have no idea what they mean....
He babysits for me whenever he is asked.....
He looks after me overnight ......
He gets up to me in the morning when Granny is still asleep...
He makes a mean Ready Brek and toast....
He splashes me in the bath and blows bubbles.....
He puts me on my new trike and walks all the way up to Sainsbury and back....
He tickles me under the arms and makes me giggle...
He makes a roast dinner and lets me chew on his Yorkshires and throw peas on the floor....
He loves my Granny.....
He sings to me when no-one is around....
He loves Jesus....
He sometimes does a burpy noise out of his mouth and his bottom too....
He gets to be with me a lot cos he doesn't work very much....
He is forever sneaking up on me and saying..peek boo....
He loves my mummy a lot...
He changes the stinkiest of nappies and isn't sick....
He is endlessly patient with me when I am grouchy....
He says he is besotted with me but I don't really know what that means unless it is all of the above....
He has the best laugh ever and tells jokes that are just plain awful....
He takes my picture all the time...
He crawls around the soft play places and takes me out all by himself....
He loves me very much....
He thanks God for me all the time....
He never gets tired of playing with me.....
My Grandad is a hero...I love my Grandad.....
Sunday 20 November 2011
ON BEING A GRANNY
Well....it is now one whole year since Elisha came into our world...he celebrated his birthday on Wednesday with his Godparents and friends then again on Saturday with both sets of families together. We raised a wee glass of champagne and toasted the wee boy!!
So...what has life been like this last year ....I know I possibly bore you all with my Elisha stuff but I cant seem to help it...he is such a blessing and that can sound a bit of a twee thing to say ....but one of the dictionary definitions of the word"blessing" is gift from God and Eli truly is a gift.
All the time that Nick and Cat were undergoing tests and then the time spent in treatment we didn't know what would be happening but we held on tight to God and believed for a miracle and when we heard that they were expecting it was a time of real gratefulness and knowing Gods favour.
The day Elisha was born was just amazing....the feeling of entering the ward for our first visit and seeing Nick holding this bundle in his arms was one of the memories I hold very close to my heart. I went straight to Cat and hugged her ....then I couldn't keep my eyes of this wee bundle....Nick...just said ..would you like to hold him...I was like...oh yes !!
When I held him in my arms I unfolded the towel/blanket and just gazed at this child as if I had never seen a babe before. I held my breath and my heart stopped beating ...at least I am sure it did as it felt as if time had stopped and all eternity was just waiting for me to breathe again. To be truthful I still feel like that...there are times when I catch myself looking at him....or laughing at him..or interacting with him..or just watching him with his mummy and daddy and I just hold it in my heart ...just catch and freeze that moment ....and I silently whisper my thanks to the God who gives life...
Many years ago when Cat and Nick first got together and became boyfriend and girlfriend it was a real pleasure watching life unfold for them as they discovered their love for each other...then when we walked through the pain of their infertility with them I felt bereft as I couldn't do anything other than love and support them and pray for them.....Then to see them experience the joy of knowing that God had created a new life ..this was just the very best thing anyone could have given them.
In this last year I have seen both Cat and Nick become "parents" and that is just the weirdest of things...watching your own children become a mummy and a daddy . Chris and I have been so privileged to be able to see them grow into parenthood knowing God as a God who loves and cares for them and has given them a miracle. I don't think a week goes by but they don't refer to Eli as their miracle child and in doing so they reflect glory back to God.
As for me.... Grannyhood is just the best thing ever....I am proud as punch to be called Granny Mooney....One person said to me a few weeks ago ...that I was "born for such a time as this" and I just know that this is true. Both Chris and I are so pleased that not only do we live in very close proximity with Cat and Nick but also that they so openly share him with us . From a very early age they let us have him to sleep over and left him with us as they recovered from sleepless nights or illness or just needing time to themselves . I know many grandparents who don't live close by to their grandchildren or for whatever reason don't see them often so we don't take it for granted and are thankful that God planted us here to be close to our family.
Each time I see the "wee boy" ( as we call him ) the depth of feeling just grows and I keep thinking ..surely the bubble will burst and we will have a dose of reality but so far....the novelty hasn't even begun to wear off...each time the doorbell rings and he is there my heart is full....every time he sleeps over and we bring him into our bed in the morning we smile...every time he chuckles and giggles or is tired and cross we just look at him and love him.
Being a granny is totally different from being a mummy....and its not really because we "get all the good bits and can give them back at night"....For me its way more than enjoying the good bits....its watching your daughter and husband become different and growing into being parents...I get so much pleasure watching Cat interact with Elisha and watching Nick give him a bath or playing with him....there is nothing better than watching Nick come home from work and seeing Elishas face light up cos daddys home . This is what being a granny is about ...this is the deeper meaning to being a granny....its way more than being on hand to babysit...or give advice its standing in the wings and seeing another "family" being formed...seeing them do things as a threesome...seeing them make decisions that are external to us and based on Elisha. This is the extra blessing we have as grandparents that I didn't expect and as such feel as if God has given me a double portion and as such I am grateful to God .It has been extra special this week as we celebrated all together for Elishas first birthday... I have felt close to God as I have been daily thanking Him for this precious gift and I am thankful to both Cat and Nick that they are so open and generous in allowing us to share Elisha with them .
So...what has life been like this last year ....I know I possibly bore you all with my Elisha stuff but I cant seem to help it...he is such a blessing and that can sound a bit of a twee thing to say ....but one of the dictionary definitions of the word"blessing" is gift from God and Eli truly is a gift.
All the time that Nick and Cat were undergoing tests and then the time spent in treatment we didn't know what would be happening but we held on tight to God and believed for a miracle and when we heard that they were expecting it was a time of real gratefulness and knowing Gods favour.
The day Elisha was born was just amazing....the feeling of entering the ward for our first visit and seeing Nick holding this bundle in his arms was one of the memories I hold very close to my heart. I went straight to Cat and hugged her ....then I couldn't keep my eyes of this wee bundle....Nick...just said ..would you like to hold him...I was like...oh yes !!
When I held him in my arms I unfolded the towel/blanket and just gazed at this child as if I had never seen a babe before. I held my breath and my heart stopped beating ...at least I am sure it did as it felt as if time had stopped and all eternity was just waiting for me to breathe again. To be truthful I still feel like that...there are times when I catch myself looking at him....or laughing at him..or interacting with him..or just watching him with his mummy and daddy and I just hold it in my heart ...just catch and freeze that moment ....and I silently whisper my thanks to the God who gives life...
Many years ago when Cat and Nick first got together and became boyfriend and girlfriend it was a real pleasure watching life unfold for them as they discovered their love for each other...then when we walked through the pain of their infertility with them I felt bereft as I couldn't do anything other than love and support them and pray for them.....Then to see them experience the joy of knowing that God had created a new life ..this was just the very best thing anyone could have given them.
In this last year I have seen both Cat and Nick become "parents" and that is just the weirdest of things...watching your own children become a mummy and a daddy . Chris and I have been so privileged to be able to see them grow into parenthood knowing God as a God who loves and cares for them and has given them a miracle. I don't think a week goes by but they don't refer to Eli as their miracle child and in doing so they reflect glory back to God.
As for me.... Grannyhood is just the best thing ever....I am proud as punch to be called Granny Mooney....One person said to me a few weeks ago ...that I was "born for such a time as this" and I just know that this is true. Both Chris and I are so pleased that not only do we live in very close proximity with Cat and Nick but also that they so openly share him with us . From a very early age they let us have him to sleep over and left him with us as they recovered from sleepless nights or illness or just needing time to themselves . I know many grandparents who don't live close by to their grandchildren or for whatever reason don't see them often so we don't take it for granted and are thankful that God planted us here to be close to our family.
Each time I see the "wee boy" ( as we call him ) the depth of feeling just grows and I keep thinking ..surely the bubble will burst and we will have a dose of reality but so far....the novelty hasn't even begun to wear off...each time the doorbell rings and he is there my heart is full....every time he sleeps over and we bring him into our bed in the morning we smile...every time he chuckles and giggles or is tired and cross we just look at him and love him.
Being a granny is totally different from being a mummy....and its not really because we "get all the good bits and can give them back at night"....For me its way more than enjoying the good bits....its watching your daughter and husband become different and growing into being parents...I get so much pleasure watching Cat interact with Elisha and watching Nick give him a bath or playing with him....there is nothing better than watching Nick come home from work and seeing Elishas face light up cos daddys home . This is what being a granny is about ...this is the deeper meaning to being a granny....its way more than being on hand to babysit...or give advice its standing in the wings and seeing another "family" being formed...seeing them do things as a threesome...seeing them make decisions that are external to us and based on Elisha. This is the extra blessing we have as grandparents that I didn't expect and as such feel as if God has given me a double portion and as such I am grateful to God .It has been extra special this week as we celebrated all together for Elishas first birthday... I have felt close to God as I have been daily thanking Him for this precious gift and I am thankful to both Cat and Nick that they are so open and generous in allowing us to share Elisha with them .
Monday 7 November 2011
FACEBOOK AND MEMORY LANE
This last Sunday Simon our pastor preached on Social Media and how we can use or abuse it.....really excellent message so check it out on website. One of the points he made was that Facebook was great for keeping in touch with friends who live all over the nation and world. For me...this has been the very best thing...I have friends and family in places like Canada...Amsterdam.... as well as dotted all over UK. Its been fantastic to share life with them and especially photos and news of family events.
Recently I had a friend request from someone whose name I didn't recognise so I
"ignored "it...the request came back a few days later with a note attached giving her maiden name ....Janie Maclachlan.....well....that was a blast from the past...I clicked "confirm" and away we went....30 years of our lives to catch up on and she had also read my blog posts so we talked about that too.
We exchanged messages and news and caught up on what we think is 30 years since we last saw one another and then last weekend I flew to Scotland for my sister in laws 60th birthday party and arranged to meet up with Janie....
Oh my.....what can I say....it was just the most amazing time....we met for lunch and spent over 2 hours catching up and learning some things we never would have expected to know.....we talked about our children and grandchildren and our hubbys and our jobs and our own parents all now deceased....we were surprised to know that I yearned for her parents to be mine as they were still together and she yearned for my dad to be hers because he was so lenient....I longed for her bedroom as she had a room to herself and was an only child...and she longed for my siblings and crowded one bedroom ...enjoying the times we shared a single bed in same room with my dad and 2 brothers.!!!YES...this was our lives...no bathrooms...just a loo....sinks in the windows of the one bedded flats we both lived in...us on a top floor...them on the second floor of old tenements. Our weekly trips to the "public baths" for our once a week bath..oh that was bliss as we had all the hot water we wanted...the rest of the week we had a "strip wash".....for some of you reading this you may think we were really poor people but we were just the average kind of family who lived in that part of Edinburgh.
We talked about all our escapades....we were champion shoplifters....we stayed out all night....we sneaked out of our homes when parents were asleep...we had huge crushes on guys way too old for us...we sneaked "fags" from our parents packets...we went to pubs and clubs way too young...we mixed with folk who nowadays would be criminals but in those days we were just larking about street corners!!..I have done all the repenting I needed to do a long time ago....
We laughed about who we fell in love with and who we ended up marrying...we took trips down memory lane about Revolva...the mobile disco that our guys worked for and how we were disco groupies.
It was with sadness we said bye bye....but I did say she would be more than welcome to the actual evening 60th party...and when she texted me later to say YES...it was so exciting as she would meet up with my brother who again she hadn't seen for decades. The party was amazing....I met up with my brother and sister in law...niece and nephew and some other friends I hadn't seen for some years...the disco played all the hits from my era...the 70s...so I boogied with Janie and anyone else who was on the dance floor...we jived...twisted...lip synced to Maggie May...I Cant get No Satisfaction....Sugar Sugar....Come on Eileen...I Will Walk Five Hundred Miles...Nutbush City Limits....and loads of others and generally had just the best time ever.
Facebook is tailor made for such a time as this....it reunites friends who for many different reasons lose touch ...it brings back memories that previously were forgotten....it allows all our mess ups and failures to be laughed about ....it shows us that we can be different ....it brings laughter into situations that could be so sad....it moves us to tears and tempts us to smile.....it promises us that the friends and family we have are only a few key strokes away......and it means we can share life with them no matter how many miles apart we are from each other.
I eventually headed back to the Bed and Breakfast I had booked ...(which overlooked the church where Chris and I got married)...somewhere round about 1am and crashed into bed...my feet were killing me and I slept like the dead. The following morning I was picked up by another great friend and we popped in on yet another friend before having lunch together and then heading back to the airport for my flight home...I reckon I was away something like 40 hours all told but think I have packed a whole lifetime into such a short space of time.
Finally....At the party I also met 2 old friends who I reckon I hadn't seen since I was 16,,,how cool was that....
So....
Janie ....you rock my friend
Sandra.....all those plans you shared...go for it girl
Anne...keep on dancing and keep on looking and believing
My Family....Love you all and look forward to the twins next year
Recently I had a friend request from someone whose name I didn't recognise so I
"ignored "it...the request came back a few days later with a note attached giving her maiden name ....Janie Maclachlan.....well....that was a blast from the past...I clicked "confirm" and away we went....30 years of our lives to catch up on and she had also read my blog posts so we talked about that too.
We exchanged messages and news and caught up on what we think is 30 years since we last saw one another and then last weekend I flew to Scotland for my sister in laws 60th birthday party and arranged to meet up with Janie....
Oh my.....what can I say....it was just the most amazing time....we met for lunch and spent over 2 hours catching up and learning some things we never would have expected to know.....we talked about our children and grandchildren and our hubbys and our jobs and our own parents all now deceased....we were surprised to know that I yearned for her parents to be mine as they were still together and she yearned for my dad to be hers because he was so lenient....I longed for her bedroom as she had a room to herself and was an only child...and she longed for my siblings and crowded one bedroom ...enjoying the times we shared a single bed in same room with my dad and 2 brothers.!!!YES...this was our lives...no bathrooms...just a loo....sinks in the windows of the one bedded flats we both lived in...us on a top floor...them on the second floor of old tenements. Our weekly trips to the "public baths" for our once a week bath..oh that was bliss as we had all the hot water we wanted...the rest of the week we had a "strip wash".....for some of you reading this you may think we were really poor people but we were just the average kind of family who lived in that part of Edinburgh.
We talked about all our escapades....we were champion shoplifters....we stayed out all night....we sneaked out of our homes when parents were asleep...we had huge crushes on guys way too old for us...we sneaked "fags" from our parents packets...we went to pubs and clubs way too young...we mixed with folk who nowadays would be criminals but in those days we were just larking about street corners!!..I have done all the repenting I needed to do a long time ago....
We laughed about who we fell in love with and who we ended up marrying...we took trips down memory lane about Revolva...the mobile disco that our guys worked for and how we were disco groupies.
It was with sadness we said bye bye....but I did say she would be more than welcome to the actual evening 60th party...and when she texted me later to say YES...it was so exciting as she would meet up with my brother who again she hadn't seen for decades. The party was amazing....I met up with my brother and sister in law...niece and nephew and some other friends I hadn't seen for some years...the disco played all the hits from my era...the 70s...so I boogied with Janie and anyone else who was on the dance floor...we jived...twisted...lip synced to Maggie May...I Cant get No Satisfaction....Sugar Sugar....Come on Eileen...I Will Walk Five Hundred Miles...Nutbush City Limits....and loads of others and generally had just the best time ever.
Facebook is tailor made for such a time as this....it reunites friends who for many different reasons lose touch ...it brings back memories that previously were forgotten....it allows all our mess ups and failures to be laughed about ....it shows us that we can be different ....it brings laughter into situations that could be so sad....it moves us to tears and tempts us to smile.....it promises us that the friends and family we have are only a few key strokes away......and it means we can share life with them no matter how many miles apart we are from each other.
I eventually headed back to the Bed and Breakfast I had booked ...(which overlooked the church where Chris and I got married)...somewhere round about 1am and crashed into bed...my feet were killing me and I slept like the dead. The following morning I was picked up by another great friend and we popped in on yet another friend before having lunch together and then heading back to the airport for my flight home...I reckon I was away something like 40 hours all told but think I have packed a whole lifetime into such a short space of time.
Finally....At the party I also met 2 old friends who I reckon I hadn't seen since I was 16,,,how cool was that....
So....
Janie ....you rock my friend
Sandra.....all those plans you shared...go for it girl
Anne...keep on dancing and keep on looking and believing
My Family....Love you all and look forward to the twins next year
Wednesday 10 August 2011
SUN.....STAND STILL...
At the recommendation from Ruth I am reading this book....
Sun...Stand Still by Steven Furtick
I have it on my Kindle and have been reading it whilst at the gym....doing my mile on treadmill...2 miles on the bike is boring but since discovering my Kindle fits the handy ledge on the controls it has been so much more bearable. I tell myself I am getting fitter physically and also spiritually too.!!
Usually I swim after my 40 mins in gym and it gives me time to ponder the chapter or two I have read so its been a great way to get this book into my system and it really has caught me ...more so than any other Christian book in a long time.
The main theme of the book is all about FAITH....and he uses the phrase...AUDACIOUS FAITH....and it is extremely challenging in may ways . The chapter I read this morning at the gym has been echo-ing around my mind all day and perhaps writing about it will help me to process it more.
Just to give you a brief explanation ...it is based on Joshua Chapter 10..when God causes the sun to stand still and delay going down.....Joshua prayed and God answered. Its a bit of a simplistic explanation but if you read the context you will know what kind of audacious prayer this was....and how God answered with a miracle.
In Chapter 13 of the book Steven writes about "When the sun goes down"....what do we do when the sun doesn't stand still for us
and talks about what happens when we pray ...in faith...but God doesn't give us a miracle. This chapter should be compulsory reading for us all...how to keep on...press on..keep believing...keep praying...keep hoping...keep having faith...even when the sun goes down on our prayer.!!
But what caught me even more in this chapter is ..he talks about the 40 years Joshua spent in the wilderness along with the rest of that generation...yes he had the privilege of leading the charge into the promised land but he still had to endure the wilderness...not his fault...nor was it his lack of faith....so Joshua didn't get to inherit the promise for a very long...long ...long time. Steven uses the phrase...
"Joshua spent a large part of his life living in the shadow of a setback "
He then asks the reader ....
"Maybe you are living in a similar shadow ....maybe you thought you would be closer to completing your life's goals by now...maybe you have done your part ...but something snuck up from behind and knocked you cold.....these seasons of setback can be fatal to your faith...its easy to lose your faith when the sun goes down and you can easily slip into a deep spiritual sleep in an attempt to escape the pain !
I think the words...living in the shadows....is what leaped out at me and has been resonating with me all day...the title of my blog is .."The Shadow of Victory" and has been all about living the life of faith whilst still not knowing complete freedom and healing and in a recent blog I shared that in one or two areas I have believed that I have begun to step out of the shadow and search for the sun. I know for sure that debt is a thing of the past and know that God certainly made the sun stand still for us when we were able to pay off our IVA...the sun stood still yet again when Chris was made redundant and very soon after he was able to semi retire and work two days per week at the church...for him this was most definitely a sun stand still miracle....I saw another sun stand still moment on the day Elisha was born...after such a long hard journey Cat and Nick experienced their own
sun stand still moment and we get to share in this every day.!
Finally...I am still experiencing a sun stand still moment....or season...in my own life with regards to the Gastric Bypass I had earlier this year. Similar to Joshua who had 40 years of desert wanderings...I have also struggled in the whole area of weight for almost 40 years and I can assure you it has been a desert of immense proportions. It wasn't the easiest of decisions to have the surgery and it certainly isn't the easy way out...it has been a hard slog over the last few months to get to grips with the new way of eating and how it affects my life in every way but I am getting there...the sun most definitely stood still for me and after decades of living under the shadow I am slowly but surely stepping into the sunlight and feeling the warmth of the sunrise. It feels good...it feels right...it feels strong...it feels like a miracle.! My very own sun stand still miracle .
Going back to the title of the chapter..." When The Sun Goes Down"...for me I thought that the sun had gone down on these areas of my life...I thought we would always be in debt ...I thought I would always struggle with my weight...I thought that the shadow was as good as I was going to get...and in some ways I settled for it....yet still...every now and then I would cry out to God...help me....help me...help me...I used to take certain verses from the bible about "persevering" and "pressing on" and use them as reasons to keep going. I deeply identify with the words that Steven uses about a "deep spiritual depression that is used to escape the pain"... only those who have known the shame of crippling debt and those who have known suicidal thoughts that decades of struggling with my weight can truly know how much I believed that the "sun had already gone down " The older I got the more I thought that it was too late ...and yet here I am ...today knowing without any doubt ...that
God caused the Sun to Stand Still long enough for me to step out of the shadow...
Sun...Stand Still by Steven Furtick
I have it on my Kindle and have been reading it whilst at the gym....doing my mile on treadmill...2 miles on the bike is boring but since discovering my Kindle fits the handy ledge on the controls it has been so much more bearable. I tell myself I am getting fitter physically and also spiritually too.!!
Usually I swim after my 40 mins in gym and it gives me time to ponder the chapter or two I have read so its been a great way to get this book into my system and it really has caught me ...more so than any other Christian book in a long time.
The main theme of the book is all about FAITH....and he uses the phrase...AUDACIOUS FAITH....and it is extremely challenging in may ways . The chapter I read this morning at the gym has been echo-ing around my mind all day and perhaps writing about it will help me to process it more.
Just to give you a brief explanation ...it is based on Joshua Chapter 10..when God causes the sun to stand still and delay going down.....Joshua prayed and God answered. Its a bit of a simplistic explanation but if you read the context you will know what kind of audacious prayer this was....and how God answered with a miracle.
In Chapter 13 of the book Steven writes about "When the sun goes down"....what do we do when the sun doesn't stand still for us
and talks about what happens when we pray ...in faith...but God doesn't give us a miracle. This chapter should be compulsory reading for us all...how to keep on...press on..keep believing...keep praying...keep hoping...keep having faith...even when the sun goes down on our prayer.!!
But what caught me even more in this chapter is ..he talks about the 40 years Joshua spent in the wilderness along with the rest of that generation...yes he had the privilege of leading the charge into the promised land but he still had to endure the wilderness...not his fault...nor was it his lack of faith....so Joshua didn't get to inherit the promise for a very long...long ...long time. Steven uses the phrase...
"Joshua spent a large part of his life living in the shadow of a setback "
He then asks the reader ....
"Maybe you are living in a similar shadow ....maybe you thought you would be closer to completing your life's goals by now...maybe you have done your part ...but something snuck up from behind and knocked you cold.....these seasons of setback can be fatal to your faith...its easy to lose your faith when the sun goes down and you can easily slip into a deep spiritual sleep in an attempt to escape the pain !
I think the words...living in the shadows....is what leaped out at me and has been resonating with me all day...the title of my blog is .."The Shadow of Victory" and has been all about living the life of faith whilst still not knowing complete freedom and healing and in a recent blog I shared that in one or two areas I have believed that I have begun to step out of the shadow and search for the sun. I know for sure that debt is a thing of the past and know that God certainly made the sun stand still for us when we were able to pay off our IVA...the sun stood still yet again when Chris was made redundant and very soon after he was able to semi retire and work two days per week at the church...for him this was most definitely a sun stand still miracle....I saw another sun stand still moment on the day Elisha was born...after such a long hard journey Cat and Nick experienced their own
sun stand still moment and we get to share in this every day.!
Finally...I am still experiencing a sun stand still moment....or season...in my own life with regards to the Gastric Bypass I had earlier this year. Similar to Joshua who had 40 years of desert wanderings...I have also struggled in the whole area of weight for almost 40 years and I can assure you it has been a desert of immense proportions. It wasn't the easiest of decisions to have the surgery and it certainly isn't the easy way out...it has been a hard slog over the last few months to get to grips with the new way of eating and how it affects my life in every way but I am getting there...the sun most definitely stood still for me and after decades of living under the shadow I am slowly but surely stepping into the sunlight and feeling the warmth of the sunrise. It feels good...it feels right...it feels strong...it feels like a miracle.! My very own sun stand still miracle .
Going back to the title of the chapter..." When The Sun Goes Down"...for me I thought that the sun had gone down on these areas of my life...I thought we would always be in debt ...I thought I would always struggle with my weight...I thought that the shadow was as good as I was going to get...and in some ways I settled for it....yet still...every now and then I would cry out to God...help me....help me...help me...I used to take certain verses from the bible about "persevering" and "pressing on" and use them as reasons to keep going. I deeply identify with the words that Steven uses about a "deep spiritual depression that is used to escape the pain"... only those who have known the shame of crippling debt and those who have known suicidal thoughts that decades of struggling with my weight can truly know how much I believed that the "sun had already gone down " The older I got the more I thought that it was too late ...and yet here I am ...today knowing without any doubt ...that
God caused the Sun to Stand Still long enough for me to step out of the shadow...
Friday 15 July 2011
Here I am again.....
Hello....I wonder if anyone is still reading this,...I seem to have lost the art of blogging...actually my jolly laptop is a pain in the butt for typing and I have restricted access to the main computer in the study as it is now Chris domain. BUT...Here I am....
Life is moving on so swiftly this year I am not going to attempt to "catch up " so will just summarise as best I can. ...
1) Being a Granny is simply the best thing ever...cant believe how much fun the wee boy is...Chris and I are totally besotted with him and we feel so blessed to have almost daily hands on time with him....Cat and Nick are so generous with him. He is now 8 months old and Cat goes back to work soon *sigh* it has been so special having her and the wee boy around so much . I also get to childmind him too so will be in dual Granny /Childminder role from August.
2) I have just finished an 8 week study module called MORPH....it actually took us all 10 months to complete but in that time we all grew closer to God and to each other....I can thoroughly recommend anyone to have a MORPH group. We have so enjoyed our time together ..meeting weekly to share lunch and time together that we are going to pick up again in September.
3) I have begun to "serve" again in church and enjoyed a couple of stewarding roles in last few months and have also started to get re-involved with Sparklers...our parent and todds group which started a new session on Monday afternoons....I have enjoyed being a singer and a story teller and a craft maker .
I have realised that there are 2 main areas of my life which have
"come out from under the shadow of victory " The title of my blog is THE SHADOW OF VICTORY ... and way back in beginning I think I listed areas in which I was still struggling and wondering if I would ever be free...yet continuing to press on towards the finishing line....
Firstly....our finances....we have been debt free for almost 20 months now and it really is the most liberating experience ever....from decades of owing money and never thinking we would ever see the day...it has been the best 20 months ever. God has opened the "windows of heaven " and we have seen such blessing come our way...pressed down and spilling over into others lives too.
Secondly.... my life long struggle with my weight which has hindered me in so many ways has come to an end. In February I underwent Bariatric Surgery and had a Gastric Bypass. This was a long and involved journey which included counselling and numerous appointments to ensure I was healthy enough ( in every way ) to undergo the procedure. So far I have dropped approx 5 stone in weight and have about 3 more to go to get to a healthy BMI....It means that I have had to completely revisit my relationship with food and this has been a turning point in many aspects of my life...physical ..emotional and spiritual....more of this in another blog.
Writing is once more becoming a focus for me and I have begun to journal again and to ensure I read and write more I have designed a wee corner of our bedroom with a comfy basket chair and a cupboard to keep all my junk in ..to entice me to visit it more and to just be there ...Time spent with a journal and my bible is precious and much needed.
Life is moving on so swiftly this year I am not going to attempt to "catch up " so will just summarise as best I can. ...
1) Being a Granny is simply the best thing ever...cant believe how much fun the wee boy is...Chris and I are totally besotted with him and we feel so blessed to have almost daily hands on time with him....Cat and Nick are so generous with him. He is now 8 months old and Cat goes back to work soon *sigh* it has been so special having her and the wee boy around so much . I also get to childmind him too so will be in dual Granny /Childminder role from August.
2) I have just finished an 8 week study module called MORPH....it actually took us all 10 months to complete but in that time we all grew closer to God and to each other....I can thoroughly recommend anyone to have a MORPH group. We have so enjoyed our time together ..meeting weekly to share lunch and time together that we are going to pick up again in September.
3) I have begun to "serve" again in church and enjoyed a couple of stewarding roles in last few months and have also started to get re-involved with Sparklers...our parent and todds group which started a new session on Monday afternoons....I have enjoyed being a singer and a story teller and a craft maker .
I have realised that there are 2 main areas of my life which have
"come out from under the shadow of victory " The title of my blog is THE SHADOW OF VICTORY ... and way back in beginning I think I listed areas in which I was still struggling and wondering if I would ever be free...yet continuing to press on towards the finishing line....
Firstly....our finances....we have been debt free for almost 20 months now and it really is the most liberating experience ever....from decades of owing money and never thinking we would ever see the day...it has been the best 20 months ever. God has opened the "windows of heaven " and we have seen such blessing come our way...pressed down and spilling over into others lives too.
Secondly.... my life long struggle with my weight which has hindered me in so many ways has come to an end. In February I underwent Bariatric Surgery and had a Gastric Bypass. This was a long and involved journey which included counselling and numerous appointments to ensure I was healthy enough ( in every way ) to undergo the procedure. So far I have dropped approx 5 stone in weight and have about 3 more to go to get to a healthy BMI....It means that I have had to completely revisit my relationship with food and this has been a turning point in many aspects of my life...physical ..emotional and spiritual....more of this in another blog.
Writing is once more becoming a focus for me and I have begun to journal again and to ensure I read and write more I have designed a wee corner of our bedroom with a comfy basket chair and a cupboard to keep all my junk in ..to entice me to visit it more and to just be there ...Time spent with a journal and my bible is precious and much needed.
Thursday 24 February 2011
Unwritten Blog Entries
Wow...cant believe its been so long since I last blogged...so much has happened that to attempt to catch up will take far too long but suffice to say I have had several entries brewing but for one reason or another I havent got them down .
Here is my attempt to catch up with myself .
In 2006 a series of sermons was preached by Simon which radically challenged me and helped me to move forward . The "catch phrase" was something along the lines of....
"Everyone is going somewhere but few will reach their destination on purpose"
This prompted me in the following 2 years to get a grip of my life in several different ways....I lost weight....I wrote and published a children's book....I got fit in both the physical and the spiritual sense and began to exercise long dormant spiritual gifts which manifested in leading a ministry . I truly believed I had begun to live "with purpose"
For several reasons the momentum got lost and by the end of 2010 I was at my lowest ebb ever....I had lost my way and there was certainly little "purpose" . For the last 2-3 months I have been searching for a way back and struggling to fund my purpose again. ....and I believe I am almost there with the strategies I am putting in place for this next season of life and there is a small bubble of excitement rising within my spirit as well as sheer terror.!!!
I wanted to write about several women who have helped me to face up to the
" drifting " which seemed to be taking me over and to express gratitude for the unasked for help they have unwittingly given me...its amazing how peoples lives and the way they lead it can help change lives ..perhaps even without their knowledge.
1)An old friend who over last year has re-surfaced in my life ....SF....I am constantly amazed at the way in which she lives her life....and altho some of the things she is doing..eg Scuba diving and Bell ringing...I have no urge to copy but just the sheer diversity of her life makes mine a living contrast in boredom. I am in awe of her.
2)A young woman RB....who is an "Audacious Dreamer"...she has a dream and a vision and is risking her self to move into what she knows God wants her to do....I see a little bit of myself from 25 years ago when I too had audacious dreams ...spiritual dreams of a church community where Deaf people were integrated ...Families with children who have special needs having a place to come and be welcomed ...Adults with Disability knowing that God cares for them......I had big dreams and stepped out in faith and pushed the boundaries of our thinking and this young woman is doing the same....I am in awe of her.
3)Another friend who has challenged me is ST...for the time I have known her ...and it must be around 25 years... she has lived with Bi-polar....She is one of the strongest people I know in that she lives determined to press on and the way in which she shares and is vulnerable and aims to educate people about mental health issues is truly a testimony to how God is using her even when she feels at her weakest....I am in awe of her.
4)The final woman who has influenced me so much in this "empty" season is my daughter CK...in the face of huge issues in her life she has walked and lived with endurance and faith and a knowledge that God has a plan and purpose for her life...as sure as she lives and breathes she was born to be who she is...and I am in awe of her.
I could continue to list other women who have influenced me but these are the ones who have brought a recent and fresh challenge in to my life....So....where am I going with this....I will blog soon about what I am hoping will be a life changing event happening in next few days.....but for the moment this is what I am hoping and praying for..... I have taken a little from each of these womens lives and am asking God to give me a little of what they have....
1)I am looking for fresh things to get involved with..both in church community but also in life generally...
2)I am beginning to dream again...not audaciously but just a gentle stirring..
3)I am going to continue to be open and vulnerable and expect God to use me even when I am weak
4)I am going to be strong...even when I have huge issues to face.
If you are continuing to read my blog....May you know Gods huge blessing upon your lives and experience a freshness in your spirit.
Here is my attempt to catch up with myself .
In 2006 a series of sermons was preached by Simon which radically challenged me and helped me to move forward . The "catch phrase" was something along the lines of....
"Everyone is going somewhere but few will reach their destination on purpose"
This prompted me in the following 2 years to get a grip of my life in several different ways....I lost weight....I wrote and published a children's book....I got fit in both the physical and the spiritual sense and began to exercise long dormant spiritual gifts which manifested in leading a ministry . I truly believed I had begun to live "with purpose"
For several reasons the momentum got lost and by the end of 2010 I was at my lowest ebb ever....I had lost my way and there was certainly little "purpose" . For the last 2-3 months I have been searching for a way back and struggling to fund my purpose again. ....and I believe I am almost there with the strategies I am putting in place for this next season of life and there is a small bubble of excitement rising within my spirit as well as sheer terror.!!!
I wanted to write about several women who have helped me to face up to the
" drifting " which seemed to be taking me over and to express gratitude for the unasked for help they have unwittingly given me...its amazing how peoples lives and the way they lead it can help change lives ..perhaps even without their knowledge.
1)An old friend who over last year has re-surfaced in my life ....SF....I am constantly amazed at the way in which she lives her life....and altho some of the things she is doing..eg Scuba diving and Bell ringing...I have no urge to copy but just the sheer diversity of her life makes mine a living contrast in boredom. I am in awe of her.
2)A young woman RB....who is an "Audacious Dreamer"...she has a dream and a vision and is risking her self to move into what she knows God wants her to do....I see a little bit of myself from 25 years ago when I too had audacious dreams ...spiritual dreams of a church community where Deaf people were integrated ...Families with children who have special needs having a place to come and be welcomed ...Adults with Disability knowing that God cares for them......I had big dreams and stepped out in faith and pushed the boundaries of our thinking and this young woman is doing the same....I am in awe of her.
3)Another friend who has challenged me is ST...for the time I have known her ...and it must be around 25 years... she has lived with Bi-polar....She is one of the strongest people I know in that she lives determined to press on and the way in which she shares and is vulnerable and aims to educate people about mental health issues is truly a testimony to how God is using her even when she feels at her weakest....I am in awe of her.
4)The final woman who has influenced me so much in this "empty" season is my daughter CK...in the face of huge issues in her life she has walked and lived with endurance and faith and a knowledge that God has a plan and purpose for her life...as sure as she lives and breathes she was born to be who she is...and I am in awe of her.
I could continue to list other women who have influenced me but these are the ones who have brought a recent and fresh challenge in to my life....So....where am I going with this....I will blog soon about what I am hoping will be a life changing event happening in next few days.....but for the moment this is what I am hoping and praying for..... I have taken a little from each of these womens lives and am asking God to give me a little of what they have....
1)I am looking for fresh things to get involved with..both in church community but also in life generally...
2)I am beginning to dream again...not audaciously but just a gentle stirring..
3)I am going to continue to be open and vulnerable and expect God to use me even when I am weak
4)I am going to be strong...even when I have huge issues to face.
If you are continuing to read my blog....May you know Gods huge blessing upon your lives and experience a freshness in your spirit.
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