Shadow Of Victory

Thursday, 20 December 2012


Well... the last day of Academy has been and gone....still have Sunday to serve with Konstruction Krew and then a blissful rest over the festive season. Today was a mixture of fun..laughter and tears, and lots of chocolate. I thought that as I was "home alone" tonight I would take a little time to reflect on the term and have a look at the "highs " and the " lows " of this Granny's Gap Year.

Let me begin with the "highs "

* hanging out with the younger generation...what a huge eye opener for me to realise they are nothing like my kids were at the same age...a bit of a culture shock for me  ( and maybe for them too ) but what a great bunch they are..each of them have blessed me in ways that they may never know and given me a hope for the future ...yay for the students .

* having input from such fantastic teachers..all too many to mention but all of them have impacted me  in such a deep way that I am hoping I may never be the same again..altho I have to mention two "legends "...Ben Davies..a personal hero of mine and a new hero to add to my collection ..Ron Bailey who brought what could have been a dry and stuffy life....yay for heroes.

* volunteering to "preach" in front of Ben Davies and hearing his feedback a real highlight of the term for me plus being asked to speak at the next 10/10 in March 2013..yay for preaching .

* listening to the students ask the questions that I always wanted to ask but felt silly asking...yay to get the answers to some long awaited questions...yay for those who are patient and answer all our questions..

* serving each Sunday in Konstruction Krew...both meetings...what an eye opener !!..Junior Church as we used to call it was NEVER like this...Yvonne and the team are just fantastic and at the beginning of term I thought I would be missing out not being able to go into the adult meeting but I haven't missed it at all !!.yay for kids work

* being a part of the staff team even if only for one day a week has been lovely and chatting to different staff members has opened up some new friendships....yay for chats on the stairs and in the loo.

* having hugs from people on a regular basis...may seem silly to include that in the picture..but with my background having people in my "personal space" hasn't always been easy and some of the students excel at know who you are. ..yay for hugs

* being able to share some deep things with the students and to hear their own stories and their struggles has been a real privilege....Gabriele took time last week to pray over me in tongues and I felt the peace of God just surround me .....yay for prayers

* being moved way out of my comfort zone into new technology my new smart phone and using Word to complete assignment and Internet to study . Still not fully comfortable but moving in the right direction. ...yay for a learning curve.

* finding out that we are to be grandparents again with the expected arrival in April of a little pink one how cool will that be...yay for Andrew and Limara

* having such great encouragement from my friends and family .who have been like my cheerleaders.!! yay for friends. and family .

* studying like crazy for the preaching and for first assignment ...borrowing books and picking brains and surfing the Internet...yay for challenges .

I probably could write a whole lot more of the "highs" but wanted to also give a wee bit of space to the "lows " it hasn't all been easy as some of the list below will explain.

* having a fall right at the start of the term resulting in cracked ribs and bruised lung tissue..this is still not resolved and I still have residual pain for which I take quite strong prescription meds for ..this is despite a measure of Gods healing during the term which actually meant I had a completely pain free holiday ...yay for that...sadly I then had several episodes of heart arrhythmia caused by the intercostal muscles being still damaged...which sent me into panic mode and had the para medics come visit in middle of the night this is an ongoing situation.

* my migraines have increased and this along with the meds I am already taking means I am tired all the time .This is not good ..considering I still work full time as well as serve Academy Hours .I also recognise that if I am not careful I could tip into depression as the tiredness is so oppressive at times.

* sadly I also had to say goodbye to a wee boy who I had child minded for 18mths as his mum needed more hours and I just couldn't commit to them ...this also resulted in a fairly substantial financial loss.

* several personal issues have arisen which were horrid and forced us to throw ourselves into Gods mercy and we are grateful for the support from Simon and our Line Managers Colin and Yvonne.

* finally ..a last "low" ..we got our first written assignment back today and I cant even begin to describe how uptight I have been about it...I left school 42 years ago with six "O" levels  (GCSEs) and have had no formal education since then so the written assignments I knew would take me way beyond any comfort zone...I worked my socks off....hours and hours ...ask my husband ??!!..... I did all the right things..asked for help...ploughed my way through Tozer and commentaries and sent drafts to wiser women than me for advice and for the last 6 weeks I have known such deep anxiety...and even before I opened my envelope I was already crying all over Joanne as I shared with her how I was feeling ...we laughingly opened them together (!) but all I could see were
the " numbers."...which were a lot lower than I had thought I would get....and I didnt even read  the feedback..I put it straight back into the envelope and headed to the loo in tears . The assignment is still in the envelope...I cant even bring myself to look at it again...the numbers paralysed me.... reflections on the first term of Academy...believe me that despite the last "low" I have loved every second...every minute..every day...every moment of serving and being with the gang and I am so looking forward to next term and all the challenges it will have.  I may even take the assignment out of the envelope at some point and absorb it a little better but have to wait till my eyes stop leaking .

1 comment:

Ruthie said...

I can't wait for us to find time to catch up. I miss you Mrs M! Love you loads and Happy 2013! :0) xxxxx